Relegation

by fragmentedspeech

Today, not yesterday, Gary looked into his freezer and noticed that it was much larger than it normally would be–so, Garry crawled inside. Before that happened, Gary crawled into his mundane routine, which was repeated three-hundred and sixty-five days a rotation of the sun around the earth according to Gary’s sixth grade science test, which he failed. The cycle resets itself. He wallowed in sweet and low and his self medicated sugar coma began with his coffee and would continue until his final midnight snack of tomorrow. The cycle resets itself. He drank the rancid reused grounds of yesterday’s toss aways and poured the milk that was past its use by date into a clean-enough bowl. He reached for a box of cereal that would putrefy the strongest of teeth. He indulged in pouring his root canals into the bowl filled with bone strength, although he did not laugh, I did and I think he heard me.

I watched each rotten tooth fall into the bowl. Each tooth that dropped made Garry’s smile wider and tighter until it eventually had torn. Now came the silver spoon that shoveled the sugar softly on to the mound of ever rotting calcium. The surrounding nourishment could not have combated it in anyway. He took that same spoon and crawled inside of the bowl. Fucking eat me. Sometimes I wonder how the bowl manages to escape. Sometimes the spoon is less fortunate. Sometimes the cycle resets itself, all the time.

Once breakfast was done it was time for this sick freak’s ice cream.

“Wow, my freezer is fucking huge today!” He climbed in and the cycle reset itself.

Today I looked into my freezer after breakfast, during such a regular eating routine I heard a strange laugh emanate from my wall, I had made a note of it, to look out for any such further laughs I hear from my walls, a separate list will be made for the floors–if–it has to come to that. Anyway, my freezer was way bigger than I’ve ever seen it before, so, I crawled in. I’m in here right now and its very cold. It looks like it keeps going, I might need a jacket.

I’m quite surprised! Gary actually has a stream of consciousness, as I do, a little less analytical than me of course, but nonetheless, he has one. Note to self: Do not laugh around Gary. Note to self: Relegate Bob to the ninth circle. Gary has no idea of what is in store for him inside of his freezer. He sat there staring and looking, crawling deeper and deeper as the volume he had to crawl within had grew larger and larger and a crawl become a squat and a squat a walk. He looked around the crystalline cube he found himself inside and could not focus his attention away from the gigantic, freezer burnt, flesh sphere, suspended by a large time lapse of dripped water that was seemingly outside of the grasp of time.

Gary, not out of curiosity, but because he was cold and thought he might be able to get a jacket from it, peered into the great sphere. What maintained the visage of a frozen flesh-ball one instant ago, was now black and shiny in appearance. Gary continued to look deeper. He stared inside of this sphere harder than he has ever stared at any other one thing ever in his entire eleven-thousand six-hundred days of life on his planet, earth, which the sun revolved around, along with Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Official Note: I believe that Gary must be relegated to Jupiter where he would be only slightly older than one year old, one year point zero seven. Maybe even Uranus or better Neptune, no, even better, not better, perfect–Pluto–on Pluto Gary would be exactly zero point one two seven years old, and even better, Pluto is not even a planet, worthless and infantile, like Gary. I don’t even know why I capitalize gary’s name anymore. Anyway, he started to actually be–genuinely curious? wait, what? That doesn’t seem right. You see, when you look inside of the sphere you may travel to any place and time in the entire existence. Now I say existence because you are not limited to your universe. You may visit some other plane of existence where there are no eyeballs and only eggs, you could visit another dimension that consists of one big egg and only that, but what is this? Gary, glaring into the sphere with his hearts content and with his “true” curiosity, can only see earth? Fool, What a fool. Anywhere in the entirety of anything and he can only see earth? He only has a true desire to look at earth? What is so good about earth?

I looked around this place and could not refrain from gazing in a focal manner at a monolithic frozen spheroid in the center of my freezer, suspended by an ice covered stalactite. I walked closer. The closer I got, clearer was it’s insides, a tiny little pale blue sphere, rotating in emptiness, earth. I could see it and the other planets rotate around the sun in the blurry distance. The harder I focus the clearer the earth becomes. I think of the earth. The inside of the sphere appeared to grow in size until it engulfed my freezer and my entire body, which strangely I already was on, I think?

Never before have I felt this way about my existence. I felt as if my entire body was a bright white light echoing through space, but in my mind I knew that I was the only one on earth to see it. I was floating and I could go where I wanted. What was this? I could hear what people were thinking. Others brains transmitted to mine! This was quite a discovery indeed, now wasn’t it? I picked up millions of thoughts and could process them all and understand each one, strange, not what I would have thought. I felt no insanity, only the most sane I have ever felt. I did not need my body. I felt free of physical bounds and free of the world and before I left the atmosphere something drew me back down to the crust that I knew so well for all those years. I felt as if something was drawing me to a single point on earth–so, I followed.

Hold on a minute, he gets two paragraphs now? This does not seem right, no not one bit. This man is too too smart to be relegated! Yeah, that’s it! Too smart, he’s too smart. He is analyzing and he is thinking and he is full of real curiosity! I suppose that is why Gary found the sphere in the first place, he was curious, although he was not looking for the sphere and he was looking to indulge his hunger? Is that true curiosity? or did he just crawl in his freezer looking for ice cream? Why can’t I answer that? Why can’t I hear his thoughts? “What’s that over there!” He said.

This single point on the earth I was attracted to at that moment was a small yellow rectangle and then a bigger rectangle and then bigger and then, Oh, it was a taxi.

It was raining hard in the city. Each drop that hit the pavement seemed as if they were all multiplied by one another, resulting in a horrifically overbearing cacophony. The wind, almost ripping the taxi’s door off, took the whole idea of noise to another form; a existence in which no sound may be heard, but only the billions of molecular meteors plummeting towards every human as if they were frozen needles hitting your skin by the thousands. This wind literally made the rain pour sideways. This wind absolutely made it impossible to breath standing against a gust. The noise, so loud, past the point of not allowing humans to think, but into forcing them to think too much. It just so happens that this taxi stopped in this storm was waved down by a man in a suit named Mister Ransomlocker. At that time Mister Ransomlocker was contemplating what ifs. What if each number had a name? Number one, hm who would that be, yes, Steven, two, hm, Danny, three..and four…Gary, yes. Gary is number four he thought. Yes. Four. What a lovely number.

“Thank you Mister Ransomlocker” I said very loudly, but not on purpose.

“You are welcome?” He looked at the taxi driver and smiled.

“What?”

Oops.

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